Monday, February 13, 2006

The First 10 Minutes (or So) of Yaye's Online Day

I woke up early this morning and decided to check out the First 10 Minutes site, which allows you to view the first 10 minutes of any movie in its catalog (all new/almost new DVD releases). I'm feeling pretty sure that the site is underwritten or is, in fact, created by Netflix as a marketing tool. Doesn't matter, I consider it a valuable public service.

First, the Sure Bets:

I started off watching the first ten of movies I know I like: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Lost in Translation. I was so engrossed in Eternal Sunshine, that it actually startled me when it ended at the 10-minute mark. Why don't I already own this DVD? Then I started Lost in Translation, but it was so dark on the tiny little viewing screen that I thought Scarlett Johansson's butt was a wing chair for a full minute before realizing what I was seeing. Too dark to watch, but no matter, I already know I love that movie.

Second, the Wretched:

Hidalgo, although it stars Viggo Mortensen (YUM!) and features beautiful horses and gorgeous landscapes, was not worth watching for the entire first ten. Don't yell at me, I tried. Back to Lord of the Rings for me.

Because I am a chick and I do occassionally crave an infusion of romantic comedy, I tried Must Love Dogs and Monster-in-Law. Is there any reason other than the chick flick monicker for me to lump together these two movies? Why yes there is, thank you for asking, as I found that the first 10 minutes of each movie to be soooo similar and completely ludicrous in the exact same way.

Serving as ham-handed exposition scenes with all the subtlety and humor of barium enemas, each movie begins with a gorgeous woman (Diane "perennial divorcee" Lane and Jennifer "too picky" Lopez, respectively) surrounded by family or friends deeply concerned that she has no man in her life and so they feel the need to stage a tough love intervention to help her along. Wow, I really buy that either of these women would be in danger of being dateless on a single Saturday night. Not even John Cusack or Michael Vartan ("Alias") can save these movies. These are Chick Icks. (Tallulah, this is why I hate most romantic comedies!)

Third, the Promising (and a surprise!):

Now on to a bit of fantasy that I could stomach: Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I wasn't sure what I would think, but this one actually looks worth adding to my Netflix queue. I realize the otherworldly beauty quotient of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is a tad high for true believability (how many of us outside of Hollywood have ever met ONE person that gorgeous, let alone two of them), but the movie seems to have the right sense of humor about itself.

More importantly, until watching this clip I had no idea that Vince Vaughan is in it! With all the gossipy bits I've been subjected to about the Brangelina-Vaughaniston swaps and tribulations, I'm amazed that I never heard about this! Kinda makes me wonder if Vincie tipped off Jennifer to the on-set canoodling.

I just proved that I have totally succumbed to the senseless American obsession with celebrity. To make matters worse, I used the word "canoodling." I feel dirty in a Ted Casablanca way. I'm going to go shower and read some Dostoevsky or something. Morning shame.


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