Tuesday, January 24, 2006

TRUE(lulah) Confessions: E=M c Weird


About about 10 years ago, I had my tonsils taken out. The anestesia made me quite ill. When my husband brought me home from the hospital, I was put into bed given an ice cold drink of cherry flavored tylenol and coedine, where I passed out in a drug induced slumber. If you remember the black lodge from Twin Peaks, then you'll understand the David Lynchness of the dream setting. I walked through a red velvet curtain onto a golden stage where Albert Brooks proceeded to seduce me. Porno music up boom chicka boohwow wow, I was now behind the green door. As I swung from a trapeze with my new secret lover, Super Dave flew through the air and continued to have his way with me in the barrell of a cannon. After which, Chubby Checker who was a midget came out and sang the twist while I started to vomit a plateful of tonsils.

There are a few reasons why this dream has stuck with me,
  1. Albert Brooks and Super Dave are brothers and that's just sick and wrong.
  2. I had an erotic dream with Albert Brooks and Super Dave...together. I've never been able to look at them the same way since.
  3. Albert Brooks and Super Dave
  4. I have a deep fear of the trapeze
  5. Chubby Checker
  6. plateful of tonsils
JUST SAY NO TO TONSILECTOMIES!

4 Comments:

Anonymous yaye said...

Now THAT'S what I call a confession! Rich, twisted, confusing and cinematic - everything a gal could want in an erotic dream. Naughty Tallulah.....I love ya!

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Tallulah said...

Once when I was 12 I was in LOVE LOVE LOVE with a kid who went to my church youth group. That night I had my first real vivid tingly dream. When I awoke the next morning, my princess curtains and the rods attached to the wall were ripped down and I was completely entangled in them, my mom had to help me get out.

Ahhh the raw passions of slumber.

12:43 PM  
Anonymous yaye said...

ACTUALLY, the first truly erotic dream I remember having was in Junior High and involved a student teacher named Mr. Rapkin - who was, in fact, somewhat Albert Brooksian in a white boy's 'fro kind of way. Mmmmmmmm, Mr. Rapkin. Remember him, Tallulah?

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Tallulah said...

Oh yes!!! Yes I do. I too had a crush on him. Wonder whatever happened to him. I bet he's really cute now with gray hair and leather patches on his tweed jacket.

1:07 PM  

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