I've Died and Gone to Snarkywood

As far as I'm concerned, the ladies of Snarkywood can just pack up their brilliantly zingy quips and call it a snarky day, because they ain't never gonna top their current virulently delectable post on my personal pop culture nemesis: Madonna.

I was just graduating from high school in 1984 when the Immaterial Tart's career really took off. I remember watching the late MTV Veejay J.J. Jackson (one of the originals, kiddies) announce that the video about to play was from a girl who would be the NEXT BIG THING. I sat up and paid rapt attention, being a complete music nut whose whole life revolved around making such discoveries.

It was the video for "Borderline"and I was not at all impressed with the predictably trite lyrics, boring lightweight synth melody, nasal girly voice, lame attempts at dancing, dark roots or slitty eyes. My review: No talent, unattractive, trashy - how is this girl the next big thing? So much for my career in A&R. And, despite Mrs. Ritchie's many attempts to reinvent her image (the latest one as Kabbalist children's book author being possibly the most offensive), my original assessment holds true to today.

Read the Snarkywood post (you gotta see what they wrote about the above photo), you'll chortle, I promise.