Monday, June 26, 2006

Out of the Mouth of Tallulah's son Yayo.

While discussing the finer points of Cartoon Netwook with my son , Yayo, I opened a piece of mail from a girlfriend. She had called at a difficult moment in my life a few days ago and decided that the only way of cheering me up was by sending a Newsweek Magazine with Johnny Depp on the cover. I proceeded to listen intently to Yayo, but steal quick kisses to the cover...silly I know...yes I'm almost 40, but what the f*ck! Answering a question regarding something that has to do with I don't even wanna say, I was CAUGHT RED HANDED kissing Johnny Depp's face on the cover of Newsweek.

Yayo looked incredulously at me and said: I thought your man was George Clooney? I said that was yesterday, I have Johnny Depp right in front of me.

Yayo said...oh yeah, I thought your man was that dude...Colin Flirt. I said Colin Firth was three days ago...

Well, god, mom, said Yayo exasperated....I really think you ought to be a lesbian.

I said WHAT?

Yayo said...well you love that Ellen woman and you want to live in a cluster (I corrected him....cloister) and she's got 4 mansions and one of them could be your cluster. She seems nice and all....she always makes you laugh those guys will only make you cry.

He's got a point.


Anonymous yaye said...

Guess you forgot to mention that OUR cluster would feature cabana boys and sweaty farmhands.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Almost Rev. Father L. said...

if these cloisters are anything like the monasteries i have known, you are better off kissing the magazines...

I had no idea that grown men didn't usually call each other "girlfriend" in daily parlance until I left that sanctuary. Not that there's anything wrong with that; consenting adults, yadda yadda, but the combination of a closed community and a forced, false intimacy brewed a toxic cocktail of guilt, denial and emotional manipulation couldn't have been good for anyone's soul. What should have been an etty, catty people with agendas and a capacity to use others that would make Alexis Carrington blush. (Sorry, it appears thinking of my time in the seminary has exhumed all the 80's gay icon references that I had buried in my subconsious.) *shivers*

2:25 PM  
Anonymous Reverend Typo said...

Oops -comment got caught in the wringer -that last line should read:

"What should have been an idyllic community of people united by a common tradition of faith and charity became a low budget soap opera populated by petty, catty people with agendas and a capacity to use others that would make Alexis Carrington blush."


2:29 PM  
Anonymous Reverend Tallulah Patron Saint of all things Olives said...

an idyllic community of people united by a common tradition of faith and charity became a low budget soap opera populated by petty, catty people with agendas and a capacity to use others that would make Alexis Carrington blush...

And that is exactly why I have left any institutional regligious associations far far behind. Thank you for putting it so eloquently. However our cloister will not be like what you experienced... it will be filled with fine wines, good cheese and really hot cabana boys.

4:10 PM  
Anonymous the bishop of rome said...

You had me up to the cabana boys. Not that there's anything wrong with that.... de gustibus non est disputandum.

btw, the only clergy i can relate to now are the reverernds horton heat and billy c. wirtz.

5:50 PM  
Anonymous yaye said...

Human beans are human beans, no matter where they live or how big their hats are.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Rev. Tallu said...

I like to take human beans soak them over night then cook them down for about 3 hours.

As far as the cabana boys, they are only needed when needed. The rest of the time it's about cheese, olives, wines and hot fresh bread - with real amish butter. Have any of you tried amish butter...By god, it's divine.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous yaye said...

Thank you for remembering the bread this time.

I have indeed had Amish butter! Used to buy it at the Union Square farmer's market on Saturdays when I first moved to New York. I bought many a dairy product from the Amish, as a matter o' fact.

Similarly, I've had cheese from a an abbey - St. Regina's here in CT, where the Cheese Nun lives. It was pungent stuff, which I like. (Must be the French in me!)

How did we get from Ellen Degeneres to the Cheese Nun? No, don't answer that!

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Sister Mary Hortense Tallu said...

I look forward to the time I go to the abbey of cheese. Mmmmmmm cheese. I have no olives right now and that makes me sad. In fact I have no cheese in the house, no olives, no wine and no bread. My life is seriously lacking fulfillment. Oh, do you know what would be sooooo good right now? Red Onion thinly sliced with yellow bell and grape tomatoes tossed with some kalamata olives and feta cheese. Coupled with a pastry stuffed with spinach and a pelligrino water with a lemon AND lime slice. NOt to mention hot french bread with a saucer of olive oil, freshly minced garlic and a sprig of rosemary. oooo and for dessert, rainbow sherbert with fresh raspberries , black berries and blueberries on top. Then I would like to nap for about an 1 1/2.

2:06 PM  
Anonymous yaye said...

Oh Parco, you make me snort!

3:47 PM  
Anonymous lyford "stinky cheese" rome said...

um, tallu, I feel dirty for reading your foodie post....

though joanne and i have been known to drive all the way to Santa Barbara just to visit this place:


3:36 AM  
Anonymous Tallu said...

Next time I go out to LA I am going to Santa Barbara. Cest Cheese is certainly a place for ME. I love their brick of blue cheese under features, looks more like a really dirty key on a keyboard.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Shirley Valentine said...

I love kids - they are just so blissfully "with it" all the time -they never miss a beat.

10:50 PM  

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