Monday, December 01, 2008

Potatoes and the Island of Alaska by Tallulah

First off a big happy birthday to Yaye - a day late but my next post will be about that.

The Thanksgiving holiday was illuminated by the insanity and incredible lack of geography knowledge of two family members.

Insanity: By now anyone who has read this blog (all three people including me) know that my mother suffers from Alzheimers. However since she has moved near me, I am able to handle this little issue and find it quite amusing sometimes. Case in point: I had to deliver her beloved sugar wafer cookies and other sundry items yesterday. While unpacking her groceries and watching one of my favorite episodes of I Love Lucy - Lucy & Winemaking, my mother informed me she needed a new potato. The conversation went like this:

Mom: Honey, I need a new potato

Tallu: Mom, you need a new potato? What do you mean you need a new potato?

Mom: A NEW potato! (She says in a disgusted manner)

Tallu: Potato?

Mom: Yes, you know a new potato where I can change this thingy and make it show me the specials that I can't get with this thing.

Tallu: Mom you don't need a new potato to do that.

Mom: I most certainly do, why won't you get me a new potato.

Tallu: I would get you a new potato but you can't cook a potato in your room. What you need....

Mom: I NEED A POTATO! (she interrupts now slamming her hand down on the arm rest of her wheelchair)

Tallu: What I'm trying to tell you is that a potato will not change the channels on your TV and it will not show you any specials.

Mom: Oh? A potato won't do that?

Tallu: No, but your remote control right here will do that. See? (I switch the channel from I Love Lucy to some tel-evangalist)

Mom: How did you do that? I thought maybe a potato would help.

For the millionth time I show my mom how to work the remote and she was satisfied.

Lack of Knowledge
Around the Thanksgiving table when the election came up and everyone was laughing about Sarah Palin, my darling Yayo pipes up: Yeah, she thought that she had foreign policy experience when everyone knows Alaska is an island. The entire table goes silent, all eyes cast upon Yayo then in one simultaneous gasp, laughter erupted.

Tallu: Yayo, you can't be serious.

Yayo: Yes, why? When you look at a map of the United States there is Alaska at the bottom in a box in the middle of the ocean.

Tallu: Oh my god.

Someone gets a map and shows Yayo just where Alaska is and I explain to him why Alaska is in a box in ocean.

Yayo: Ohhhhhh, no wonder everyone was laughing at me on the bus.

And there you have it, my little family - insane and geographically challenged. By the way it was wonderful to have a holiday dinner conversation that did not talk about doom and gloom of our country but of fresh ideas and excitement for the next chapter beginning 1/20/09.


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