Thursday, March 09, 2006

Busting Out The Butt Crack!

Our American fascination with yards of billowing boobage has been steadily traveling south for a few years now with all the low slung, tattooed & pierced abdominal flesh on parade across the nation. And lo, this mighty gestation period has apparently yielded a new cultural phenomenon: The Butt Crack in a TV commercial!

Watching Project Runway (yay Chloe!) on a weekly basis has subjected me to painfully repetitive advertising patterns that have managed to break through my usual anti-marketing defenses:

1) Yes, I get it, Top Chef is the between-Project Runways Project Runway
2) Please don't subject me to more of that freaking housewives & hedges Orbitz commercial starring Wink Martindale all through the run of Top Chef
3) The Butt Crack of

You might think it's effective advertising since I remember Bluefly, but actually, when I set out to find the above graphic from the commercial, I typed "" into Google. That's because there was nothing about the commercial (called "The Dinner Party") that specifically told me what they were selling. Coulda been an airlines, why not? You can click on the pic above or right here to watch the spot for yourself.

Alright, maybe it was obvious to you that it was women's apparel (why "bluefly" anyway?) - I can be dim . But I really think I was just so traumatized by The Butt Crack that I was unable to put the twos together. Is this the new cleavage? Is this the first step toward totally nudie commercials like they have in Europe? Do I care?

Having grown up in an era when an ad for the industrial strength, cross-your-heart bra gently hinted at its illicit cargo with a busty actress like Jane Russell, but certainly didn't display any of it - I have a hard time adjusting.

And it's not like I don't enjoy looking at beautiful naked bodies, I do. But not while sitting next to my grandma, you know? And okay, so my grandma is dead, but somebody's grandma somewhere is still alive and they just might be watching Project Runway together, dishing on the fashionistas and wondering how Santino made it to the Final Three. Do they really need to look at The Butt Crack together? Is that really what it takes to sell women's clothing? Meh.

I know, I know, this is the Victoria's Secret, runway nipple slip, visible thong era and I just have to get used to it, right? Now that it's here, we're stuck with The Butt Crack, huh? Just accept it and look forward to The Butt Cheek and Mons Pubis commercials just around the corner. Granny and I can't wait!


Anonymous Sir Lyfie Lyfingham Lyena III said...

This is obviously a conspiracy to sell us all butt bras:

Personally, I was more offended by her skeletor/anorexia/bony backbone and shoulders.... eyuck. Way too sinewy.

PS - And I was rooting for Daniel, sorry, though I was happy for Chloe.
PPS - At least Iron Chef, oops I mean Top Chef isn't featuring Ray Ray....
PPPS - or Bobby Flaytard....

PPPPS - I think some of those designers may have been gay.

8:05 PM  
Anonymous yaye said...

Sir Lyfie!!

Oof! The butt bra is like a bondage-y jock strap without the cup. Too many hygiene issues to count. Ick!

Embrace the flat ass people!

Yeah, I liked Daniel too, but based on the final challenge, I think Chloe outperformed. I was suprised the designers didn't each already have their collections in-pocket ready to roll when they entered the Project. After all, they knew that was the end goal.

Uh, no lo del Ray Ray?

Re: PPPPS - You forgot "not that there's anything wrong with that." I help. That's what I do. I complete me.

So happy to have you back! Weeeee!!

1:08 PM  
Anonymous lyfecta said...

"Not that there's anything wrong with that..."
"Sure, I am flattered, and perhaps maybe even a little curious....but no thank you."
PPPPPPPS:see my comment on the ricky gervais binge post

9:28 PM  

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